


Sent

by myspookyjoshdunchristmas



Series: (Joshler) It's Angsty And Just Gets Worse [7]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Child Abuse, Crying, Demeaning, Depression, Funeral, Hurt, Isolation, Kik messenger, M/M, Misunderstandings, Neglect, Not a chat fic, Suicide, Verbal Abuse, ignoring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 13:42:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9327290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myspookyjoshdunchristmas/pseuds/myspookyjoshdunchristmas
Summary: Don't be so quick to tell someone they don't understand.





	

Josh: I know man we will totally meet them one day and they'll be like 'oh my gosh, I'm gonna make you my boyfriend' xD

Tyler: Yusssssss hehe, we'll be ultimate couples. :P

Josh: Hara would definitely go for you Ty, you're so handsome.

Tyler: Aw man thanks Josh, I really needed that haha. 

Josh: Anytime. Will Always be your bestest fren :D

Tyler: Hehe, so whatcha up to?

Josh: Nothing much just urrrrrr, jamming, you? :P

Tyler: Work man, shit never ends, anxiety on top of it all, fucking blurryface getting in the way of everything. Haha but it's all good ^~^

Josh: Ty, fren, you know if you need me I'm here right, speak to me fren.

Tyler: Nah it's okay, I just over exaggerate. :P

Josh: Okay fren ^_^

Josh set his phone down since Tyler read the message and didn't reply.

Josh didn't feel the need to reply. If Tyler didn't, he didn't need to, he didn't want to come off as pushy.

Alotta things hurt, physically and mentally. 

The parental abuse, physical ways, emotional and mental ways, the void of friends. 

He ignored all his classmates because he convinced himself he didn't fit in. It was all because of those memories.

\---

"TELL ME NOW YOU WEAK PATHETIC BASTARD! WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU BORN IN MY FAMILY?!" 

There he felt it, the feeling of a million knives piercing into his back as his father repeatedly caned him over and over, the boy falling onto his knees, no air to breathe, suffocated.

\---

"Please momma." 

And with that, four year old Josh is thrown into the dark depths of his basement, convincing himself that boogieman will get him.

\---

It hurt to think all those but Josh didn't mind. He had a friend named Tyler.

Josh and Tyler met on a social website somewhere.

Both with the same interests and likes and fantasies.

Josh had been overwhelmed by the positive comments he received from Tyler about his drumming.

Josh felt like they could be really good friends.

Bad past, anxiety, depression.

Yep, best absolute perfect.

They talked all the time, every time, every second they got to themselves.

When Josh wasn't busy doing housework and Tyler wasn't busy working.

\---

Tyler: I can't fucking do this shit, balancing crap, fucks sake.

Josh: Yo dude you okay? Wanna talk about it?

Tyler: Sorry man it's okay. I just forget it man.

10 minutes ago

Josh: Seriously fren

Sent

Josh: I'm here for you 

Sent

Josh put his phone aside and exhaled. His message to Tyler had been sent but not received or read.

That was okay, Josh could some how find a way to distract himself.

\--- 

It's weird though, how such short time could change people, or change a lot of things, just at the snap of a finger.

Read.

Josh didn't know whether he should reply or try and say something to his friend who had been offline for three days.

Josh: Ty...?

Sent 

Delivered

Read three hours later.

Tyler: Yeah man

Josh: Where did ya go? I missed ya :( 

Tyler: I figured you needed time and I left ya to think.

Josh furrowed his eyebrows at that.

Josh didn't hint that he needed time to think nor did he push Tyler away for him to do such a thing.

Josh: Dude seriously, are you okay?

Tyler: Yeah man fine.

\---

"Zero megabytes of Internet remaining."

Josh mentally curses himself for not conserving his data until his new allowance.

It sucked not having wifi.

And data was the only thing he had next to wifi.

Josh didn't have instagram, twitter, Facebook, snapchat, vine, nothing.

His phone was unable to support those apps.

Kik messenger was the only way he could talk to Tyler and he downloaded that from the Internet since the play store version was no longer compatible on his phone that had no front camera.

This meant he had to go a week without talking to his friends.

He would manage, he will try.

\---

"I fucking hate you piece of fucking shit, get out of my face."

Silently, Josh walks out of his living room and up the stairs.

His family don't want him around so he goes.

He emailed Tyler, letting him know he'd be back on soon. That his credit would be returning.

The week was brutal.

Josh was pulling out his hair, crying himself to sleep, his famous lovers songs were keeping him alive.

He hid away in college, ignored his peers, his friends, his teachers and be friended the pain in his heart and mind.

His eyes had become heavy and tired like he was slowly letting himself slip away from his body.

Tyler: hello....? 

Tyler: Am I being ignored..?

Tyler: I get it, I'm logging off from here, I take it we're not friends.

Josh raises a brow and realises the date. He already emailed Tyler so it was okay.

Josh: IT'S ME FREN AHHH

Eight hours later

Tyler: Fren! I miss you fren!

Josh: I miss you too fren. How's it been? How's life?

Tyler had emailed Josh, he had so many things to tell him. 

Tyler: Good good, just doing crappy work, I hate it.

Josh: Aw did you fix things? :D

Tyler: Yeah I already told you.

Josh: aww right haha, how's life?

Tyler: it's good but just annoying af anxiety sucks.

Josh: I know man.

Tyler: You dunno, I'm sick of people saying they know.

Josh: Dude sorry. I didn't know.

Read.

Josh did in fact know, he knew just as well as the next person with anxiety.

Josh kept himself busy when a contact popped up into a group chat he made a while back.

He and two others chatted like forever. They were great.

Tyler: so whatcha up to? 

Josh: Chatting in a group chat fren, how about you? :D

Tyler: Just working, well I'll get off then yeah? 

Josh: If you wanna :P 

Tyler: I know where I stand.

Josh froze. A million thoughts running through his mind.

He appreciated Tyler for everything he said and for everything he did. For being the encouragement he needed when no one else was there.

But what did he mean by that? Why would he say something as doubtful as that? It hurt, just like a million daggers at his heart.

Josh: I didn't say nor did I hint.

Tyler: I didn't say anything wrong.

Josh didn't want to reply to Tyler right now. He didn't understand why he was acting off or stand off ish

He felt his eyes fill with tears. 

He didn't want this with Tyler, he wanted him and Tyler to be like they used to, Josh didn't know what had changed.

Tyler: I don't know what I've done so...I give up.

Josh gives himself a minute to read it.

Josh: Why are you giving up on me?

After that, Josh received no reply.

The people left his chat, no one sent him a text.

Just one person who he was grateful for, he didn't reply.

He wasn't in the mood.

\--- 

The next day Josh woke up late, he received a few poundings on his door and screams of how worthless he was and how he needs to die.

He had a few notifications from the two from the chat but he ignored them.

He ignored them all in fact.

Tyler hadn't replied or seen his message.

So he gave up and let time pass.

Eventually Josh replied to the others and then to Tyler.

Josh: Oh is this how it is now? The silent treatment? 

Josh: You don't wanna talk to me?

Josh: Its always my fault.

Sent 

Sent 

Sent

\---

Josh: Tyler? 

Sent

It's been three days since Tyler last received his last message.

He didn't ever read them or send an email to Josh.

He completely blocked out the man.

Josh didn't know what to do, he tried email but got nothing.

It came to a point where Josh really needed Tyler but the male was never there.

Josh: Tyler please...

Sent.

Final straw

The male had no one to talk to, to turn to and he couldn't take it.

If he couldn't have Tyler on this Earth, then he didn't want anyone.

Josh: Tyler, you won't ever be getting a reply from me anymore, I'm not sticking around, don't reply to me, I won't be here to read it.

So it took time, courage and a lot of thought to do what he did.

Josh swallowed all six of those pills that night and let the drowsiness take over.

He knew he wasn't going to wake up.

\---

Life's a fucking bitch when families cry at your funeral like they actually loved you.

When fake friends give their fake sympathy.

Josh didn't mind.

Josh couldn't mind.

He wasn't around anymore.

No one had a clue.

Not even...

 

 

 

Tyler: Josh? 

 

 


End file.
